


Dear John

by CadetDru



Series: Why So Sad? [3]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Dear John Letter, Documentary Crew, Familiar stuff, Interview, M/M, Minor Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Monologue, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Season/Series 02 Finale, Sorry Not Sorry, familiar only problems, mid finale, mockumentary, subtextually, talking head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24782830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Sorry.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: Why So Sad? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821313
Comments: 17
Kudos: 42





	Dear John

Nandor was seated in his usual talking head stance. It was the night that he had discovered that Guillermo had left him. He was not coping well. He had grabbed his chest of letters rather than a sword. The documentary crew was worried that he would kill someone. He clutched a stack of papers, some yellowed with age, tied together with a black ribbon. He kept his eyes on the camera.

"Immortality lasts forever. A companion is often necessary. A traveling companion, a servant, a friend..." He trailed off, waved a hand to encompass the roles of a familiar. "When he leaves, if he decides to leave, then he leaves a note. I believe it's called a Dear John letter. I've never liked that. I've never liked the letters."

He untied the ribbon, and added the simple note from Guillermo to the stack. 

"Apparently," he said, in a bitter sing-song, "it's hard to break up with me face to face. So the cowards, who had been content to stay by my side and under my command, leave me under the cover of daylight leaving behind these words of their pity and shame."

There was no commentary from the camera crew. There was no fear that Nandor would command, hypnotize, control, in any way. He was, in terms of the talking head setup, the least terrifying of the house. Colin Robinson, who was even now lurking around and feeding off Nandor, was the worst.

"Is this not where you ask me probing questions to continue my monologue?" Nandor said, with a sad smile that was far more effective than any of his attempts at mind control. 

"Why do they say they left?" was the prompt. 

Nandor rolled his eyes, he grabbed a letter and scanned it quickly. "Sin. Affront to g... to their beliefs." He took out another. "Too many murders." Another. "Didn't want to stay; was going to marry a nice woman and start over." Another. "Oh, this fucking guy. Didn't want to leave, but couldn't stay. Was going to a fucking monastery." Nandor retied the ribbon. "Cowardly bullshit." 

"Why do you keep them?"

"Vampire only collection," Nandor said. There was a flurry of motion as Nandor turned into a bat and left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments much appreciated!


End file.
